Farewell, Maria!
by Paperback dreams
Summary: What if Marco was spared from battle? What if you take his place learning about the true secret of the identity of the Titans? What will become of the future of Eldia and Paradis island? P. S the first few chapters are borrowed from its 'choose your adventure' novel... So yeah. Enjoy! Hmu if you want updates :)
1. Out in the Streets

**Chapter 1**

There were two things that kept me up at night… Number one: the Destruction of Wall Maria. Number two: The Death of my brother and of countless other people. Every night, I would get flashbacks of him… Times when we were laughing, smiling silly at each other until the memory shifts to his last moments when I wasn't there to witness it… According to my mother, the blast had his head smashed against a boulder.

As much as I regretted it, I was at a friend's place when I should've been at home instead or to be there when he played outside… As the eldest, it was my duty to protect him but how was I to know? I mean: Who would've predicted his death? Who would've predicted the Colossal Titan to come here in the first place? Not I. Not anyone. And because of it, my brother died meaninglessly… He was a healthy, happy boy who never gets sick. He would've been the first to exceed the life expectancy and lived a long, fulfilling life. I would've been able to see him grow old too. But it's too late. No matter how hard I tried: I can't turn back time... My brother is officially dead and there is nothing I can do about it...

My poor brother… He must've felt so hopeless back then… He must've been so scared. There was nothing else he could do, nowhere else to go to! He never made it in time to save himself… I-

I gave everyone a startle. I leaped upright and gasped for air as my chest begins to ache. Flickers of light appeared from all spaces and lit the room. Without hesitation, Mikasa walked towards me with an unchanged expression and caressed me with soothing words. Krista came in and did the same, "Just take in deep breaths." Some of the girls fell back to sleep, others waited for me to come back to my senses. We were all silent for a few minutes until Krista slipped in bed and embraced me for the time being. I cried on her shoulders, "Everything will be alright." she said as she stroked my hair. Mikasa settled on my bed and watched silently.

It happened so frequently that it became a habit of mines. Almost every single night, one of the girls (mostly Krista) would come to my aid and embraced me till I sleep. Sometimes, it's Mikasa or someone else. Once the crying is done, I had my face rested at one side as to face Sasha but as I look on, the firelight revealed a funny looking lump that is supposedly Annie. Maybe she sleeps funny, I thought. Though the longer I looked, this was beginning to question me.

The next day, the bell struck and Krista nudged me awake. I smiled at her and get off the bed preparing for what was to be attended. I took a quick shower, slipped into my brown cardigan and dark blue trousers and left for the Cafeteria.

As usual, I joined Krista and Ymir at the table and started with our typical everyday breakfast: Bread and Corn soup. While they talked on, I caught Annie at the corner of my vision. She had her blonde hair tied in a bun and was dressed, (though lacking in style) pretty decently. Nothing out of the ordinary. Despite my suspicion that she wasn't at the Dormitory last night, Annie showed no symptoms of sleep deprivation. There were no dark circles under her eyes, she was in her usual mood and there were no signs of fatigue. I watched as she strode to one corner to get breakfast and settled at a lonely table just opposite mines.

"-Right, y/n?" Krista snapped me back to the conversation.

I stared at them dumbfoundedly, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Looks like someone's distracted," Ymir said.

I said nothing.

"Is everything alright, y/n?" Krista asked.

"Yes. It's nothing to concern yourselves with." I replied.

Krista placed her palms together and put them to her lips, "Well, as long as you're fine, I'm glad." Then with reassurance, "y/n, if you're ever feeling down, just talk to me okay?"

I nodded, "I will."

She beamed a smile: "I heard there's this new Tailor in town! How about we go visit there?"

"What for?"

"Commander Shadis told that we are given us some time to stroll around the streets before sundry duties, " Krista answered.

I took this in: "Okay, I'll come!"

Once breakfast finished, we lined up for a roll call and headed out for the city of Trost. "Break will only last for one hour. Please be sure to arrive at the top of that wall before 10 am. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir!" We cried in unison.

"Now you may go." Like a signal, we flooded the streets.

The city of Trost seems a lot livelier than I remembered. Apart from my fellow comrades, people of all ages scattered around the city scavenging for supplies like food and clothing. I recall our last visit here where streets are used for training and people are ordered to clear the area.

The buildings aligned, though massive, looked identical to one another with red or dark coloured bricks to make out the walls and their similar rectangular structure. Compared to us, we looked like ants rather than humans. From our level lay the stalls that occupy the streets to form a wide path.

So, this is what a normal day of Trost looks like, I thought.

With her hand dragging my arm, Krista led me straight to the Tailor at the edge of the streets. "There it is!" She said pointing at one simple looking building that blends in well with the rest that scatters about. Around me, I saw that there are other girls who are headed for the same way. Some I've never thought would go to places like this: There was Mikasa, Annie, and even the unbreakable duo, Bertholdt, and Reiner. As we entered the tiny shop, the smell of sweet perfume flooded was the first that came to my senses, the second was the pink flowery walls that gave out a very feminine impression. The tailor mainly supplied of wedding dresses and gowns than of men's clothing. At the centre of the shop was an old friendly woman, given that she was providing assistance to a pretty young lady, she must be the shopkeeper.

"Is that longing I see?" Ymir said to Krista. She caught her staring at that woman's dress.

She replied hesitantly, "I just- I was hoping she could have a happy wedding. I was thinking of how I have to dedicate myself as a soldier to protect people like this."

"Hmph. Spoken like a true overachiever..." the freckled girl shrugged, "Hey Krista, don't you think that dress would look good on you? You'd probably look more like a princess than a bride, though."

She only laughed in return.

Reiner, behind me, suddenly joined in the conversation, "Th-That would look great on her… She'd be beautiful."

After we left the shop, Krista asked what time it is in which I fished for my pocket watch and checked the time. "9:16 am."

"Oh. There's still time." Ymir commented.

We were walking towards the Outer wall when we passed a boulder on our left. Just a big boulder… Nothing more. Nothing less. And further down lies a Riverbank… Maybe I should go there.

But my friends were looking in the opposite direction, "Ymir! Y/n! We can have a look at all those restaurants! I wonder what food they sell."

I checked my watch and said: "I'm not sure if there's still much time left, I would want to go to that Riverbank over there. " I pointed at it.

The two thought about this for a moment and exchanged faces. Finally, Krista said, "We'll visit the restaurants some other time then. Let's all go to the Riverbank together!"

Hand in hand, we marched and marched until trees surrounded us and civilization faded from behind. The sunlight escaping through the branches was enough to light the way. As we kept our silence, the sound of a river flow conquered all sounds. "Doesn't it look beautiful?" Krista said, gazing at the atmosphere. Then filling her lungs with air, "It's nice to take in a fresh breath of air once in a while." We spotted a connecting riverbank and followed it. As we walked on, I had my ears wide open for the sound of leaves crumbling at every step I take.


	2. Armin

**Chapter 2**

"Hm… I still prefer restaurants. It's so boring here since there's not much to see. Just trees and rivers.." Ymir commented.

"Still very pretty though," I said.

Krista being 'Krista' added, "That's what makes nature so special, Ymir." then continued, "Sometimes, you just need to appreciate even the simplest things in life."

"Yeah?" Ymir said nothing after that.

After a few more minutes, we finally settled under an oak tree. We were seated in a circle. Out of boredom, Ymir began: "Hey y/n, which unit are you taking?"

I answered without hesitation, "The Survey Corps."

"The Survey Corps, huh?" Ymir repeated. "That's a very tough one. Regarding the fact that you didn't even make it to top 10, I'm not certain if you could make it out alive."

"Of course she will. I believe y/n will make a fine soldier. She's as capable as you and me." Krista piped in.

"Thanks and I can't back out now, I only joined the Training Corps to get admitted there in the first place," I answered rather confidently.

"Let me guess… Your reason for doing this must've had something to do with what happened four years ago?"

Krista gasped, "Ymir!"

I halted. For some reason, I lost my hearing. Next, my vision blurred then replaced it with my brother's face, the day before it happened. How giddy and innocent he looked back then as if the world would forever treat him with kindness. Not an ounce of pain or sadness was seen through his eyes until the last time I saw his face and they were so different. His eyes had this new emptiness in them I have never seen before like all colour in them had quickly drained away and long forgotten. Despite his current state, they displayed no feelings of pain but showed a rather strange peacefulness in them. Because his eyes did not match my brother's, it was difficult for me to even recognize him at first glance.

I was back to my senses when I heard Krista calling my name.

"Y/n! Thank goodness, you're back!" Krista exclaimed, teary-eyed for whatever reason. She directed to her friend, "Ymir, apologize to her!"

But before she got the chance to talk, I cut her off, "I'm sorry..."

Confused, she asked: "You're sorry?!' Then halted, and resumed with a tone of disbelief: "Why are you being so apologetic all of a sudden?"

"I… don't know. But forget about what happened, okay? I think I need some space."

Ymir sighed, "If that's what you need, I won't stop you." I smiled softly at her and walked away.

"Hey, wait a sec-" Krista tried to follow me but Ymir grabbed her by the shoulder.

"Forget it, Krista. Didn't you hear her?"

"So we'll just leave her like that?" Krista said, "You know you can't stop me. Y/n needs our help!"

However, the time Ymir replied, I was already at a distance where their voices were out of reach. From here, I could hear the river once more. Then, at the corner of my eye sat a blondie. For a while, I thought it was Krista until I realized that the person's hair was a lot shorter and had a Bowl cut. It was Armin.

Luckily, he faced behind and was too busy reading a book that lay propped on his legs. I took a good long look at him until he rubbed the back of his neck and looked behind. I was slow to react when his eyes reached mines. "Oh. It's just you, y/n."

It was a lot clearer for me to see the huge leather book he was holding. Rumours say that he reads forbidden books so I pointed at it, saying: "If that's what I think it is, I don't think it's safe to be reading that around."

He smiled, "Because it's not a forbidden book if that's what you're referring to." He knows his rumours well, "Even I'm not crazy to walk around town carrying something like that. I'm not a kid anymore."

"What are you reading, then?" I moved closer to him.

"The Science of Titans. I'm still pretty weak on that subject." He handed me the book. It was one of our textbooks we used in class. It consisted of their biological functions as well as their way of thinking but their history remained quite unclear even to this day. As much as I refused to believe it, but Armin only scored an A-. It really was his worst one yet apart from tests that required physical strength or ability. "What about you, y/n? Are you interested in books about...you know? The outside world?"

"I only hear about them sometimes." I answered, "And I have to say. Though it kind of piqued my interest, I just don't read much."

His eyes glimmered. He settled next to me "According to this book I read as a kid, Titans aren't the only things outside the wall. There are burning waters, a land made of ice and snowy plains of sand. Let's not forget the 'Sea'!" It was a very strange word. One I have never heard of before.

"See?... Never heard of that before. What exactly is it?" I asked.

"Well. I read there's far more water in the sea than there is in the canal. Probably enough to cover the entire area inside the walls! In fact, apparently, the majority of the outside world is the 'sea' and land rose up out of it. But, even though the land covers less than half of the world's surface, there is still vastly more of it than is contained within the walls."

"So it's like a giant lake then..." I took this in.

"Exactly! Filled with so much saltwater the merchants could never collect them all. There are even new species of fish you can only find there!"

I was struck with awe. This sounded like a myth. Surely, there isn't a lake so big as to practically cover the Earth's surface, "Surely, you don't believe all that, Armin?"

He smiled sadly. Then with hesitation, he said: "In my mind… no." Though, I felt like he's hiding something. A topic like this is considered a taboo here so it must've been reasonable for him to say that. "But it's true," he continued, "that that book gave me my interest in the outside world. It might not be the dreamlike world from my book but I'm certain the outside world is huge… and I want to see it for myself." Just as he finished, a new light dawn on him. From that point, I begin to see him differently.

Suddenly remembering about the time, I checked my pocket watch, "It's 9:45. We have to go now."

"Let's be off then." Armin picked up his book.

A massive, 50-meter wall surrounds the city. On top, I saw the canons and some of the soldiers I recognized have already made it there. Even Krista and Ymir made it there too. As we took the elevator to the top, neither of us said a word. Krista wrapped me in a hug when I reached my destination, "Y/n, we missed you!" She lets go, "Are you okay now? Where have you been?"

My feelings from before slowly faded. I smiled at her as if nothing happened, "Everything's alright now, Krista. I was with Armin the whole time."

She embraced me again, "Ymir's deeply sorry about what happened, y/n. I made her promise she won't do it again."

"Sorry about what?" I said, "It was never really her fault, to begin with."

Krista said nothing.

"By the way, where is she?"

"We had an argument when you left."

"Wait… What? For me?..." I knew this was all just a big misunderstanding but before I could say anything the instructor ordered us to clean the canons. We exchanged expressions and walked to our designated area. The only comrades near me were Marco, Jean, and Krista. Still, Ymir was nowhere to be seen. Maybe, they kept an oath not to see each other for a while.

While Jean and Marco had their conversations to themselves, Krista and I didn't talk other than a few simple exchanges of words.

That was when the Colossal Titan made its second appearance.


	3. The Colossal Titan

**Chapter 3**

Before I knew it, I was in the air pushed by an invisible wall. Steam followed enough to melt your flesh. Everywhere I saw was through grey lens as I spiraled headfirst into the ground. I heard a scream somewhere and, for a moment, I almost recognized that voice.

"Y/n!"

I squeezed the trigger of my operating device. The anchors shot out and grasped the wall. Once again, I dangled back to safety without the strength to move on.

"Y/n!", it was Krista.

I looked at her and there she was. Five meters above me joined with a few other cadets but still no sign of Ymir. She was turning her head left and right before looking back at me. Her lips quivered slightly as the corners of her eyes began to water. Despite the invisible rope around my throat and the heavy weight on my chest, all I felt was numbness. There was no sign of fear or helplessness for the other missing cadets, and especially for Ymir. It was quite sad how we ended our last encounter in a terrible state of mind. I didn't mean to react that way, after all, she was only trying to help me and I never said 'thank you'. Did she deserve to die like this?

_Like how my brother did?_

One of the canons that fell from the roof tore one of my grappling hooks. I lost balance and fell again. The canon above me pursued. I pressed the trigger once more, but the left grappling hook failed to penetrate. The canon drew closer and closer.

_Swish! Bump! _

The next thing I knew, I was clasped into someone's arms. I held them***** tight. We dodged past the cannons and falling wood, flying as light as air under the hot mist. Keeping my head against their***** neck, I could smell their scent. It didn't remind me of Krista's primroses, of dark coffee from Ymir, but it smelled of firewood (like oak from Mikasa) and green grass. I looked up, and there were freckles on their skin, and on their head was short black hair parted straight in the middle. I held my breath. "Hold tight." it was a deep gentle voice.

_Marco?_

We rested in a corner for a few moments after the rain had stopped. His chest rose up against me and flattened, rose up, then flattened once more in an irregular consistency. I shifted my arm a little and, through the fabric, our sweat mingled.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I nodded. But to sit on his lap, and to feel his legs shudder almost convulsively under my dreaded weight, I couldn't help repeating his question. "I mean, you seem to be struggling," I added.

He laughed, "Me struggling? Hah, no way. I can still manage for a little while." He looked onwards, "The damage seems to have stopped, so there's no need to worry. But whatever happens, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you."

I heard this a thousand times before with the same intentions, the same kinds of phrases yet, for the first time in a while, I felt completely reassured. He saved me from a falling canon, then whisked me away from death like a superhero. Maybe this time things will be different. Maybe, this time danger will be out of my way. I finally braved into his eyes, saw the sweet honey pools in them and watched them soften for a bit. The freckles on his skin and cheeks reminded me of constellations, and when he smiled awkwardly something terrible struck me. It was a new addition to the pile of things I cringed to remember, things that would make me lose sleep at night.

He laughed awkwardly but said nothing, and now, I'm itching to slip from his grasp and die. I couldn't remember the last time I've been this close to a boy. To really breathe in their nice manly scent for more than one second, and to hold them _like this_ and make physical contact _like this_. I felt out of breath the more I thought about it but Marco didn't seem to mind, and if I wasn't too embarrassed to notice it, the turbulence in his legs had stopped and his arms were wrapped more tightly around me. I saw stars in my vision, and the lump in my throat reappeared. I fell sideways against his neck once more.

I woke up to the brown ceiling of old redwood, and a waterskin raised against my lips. I got up and found myself on a box and Krista and (thank goodness) Ymir surrounding me. Our cadets scrambled around the room under the distant alarm bell. "Y/n! You're awake!", the former hugged me. "We're all here, and we're safe and sound and no one was harmed."

I let go, "Where are we? What happened?"

"We're not sure, but the Colossal Titan did appear and destroyed the canons."

"So- so, it wasn't a dream!" I laid back and closed my eyes hoping to revisit my happy dream realm. Instead of pure blackness, Marco's awkward smile came into view, his strong green grass fragrance and dark honey eyes. I moaned in deep humiliation.

Ymir's voice snapped me back to reality, and all feelings dissipated and returned to fear. It sounded more distant than I had expected. I imagined her smirk before she said, "Hey Krista, look who arrived."

Krista left me and gasped, "Captain Weilman! I hope it's not too serious."

"Can't tell, but I wouldn't be surprised if the wall's breached."

A voice boomed, "Attention cadets!"

We marched into formation in the courtyard. Under the blazing heat and amidst all our pain and confusion, the Captain of the Garrison, Kitz Weilman stood in front of us with two soldiers behind him. Their faces darkened and stiff like ragged dolls, except for the captain's whose deep sunken eyes bulged in all seriousness. His body shivered visually and it perfectly captured the usual skeptical side of him.

"Just like training, split up into your individual squads. You will be under Garrison command. Your duties are to assist in providing supplies, communication, and sweeping up the Titans. The first line of defense will be the frontline unit of the Garrison. The second line will be the cadet squads under our command. The Rearguards will be the Garrison's elite units! We've already received word that the vanguard has been annihilated. The outer gate was destroyed, and titans have encroached the city. This means that the Armoured Titan might show up at any minute to breach the inner gate."

My heart stopped. It was just as Ymir had predicted... But worse! Around me, there was muttering but they sounded more like buzzing in my ears. Flashes of four years ago came back, and I remembered the disembodied corpses. The way the Titans grabbed hold of their insignificant bodies and swallowed them whole like grapes… _That could be us in an hour._

"Silence! The frontline guards are already in combat. There is but one goal in this defensive operation: Defend Wall Rose until every civilian has evacuated! Also, in case you forgot, let me remind you that desertion is a capital offense. Vow on your hearts to devote your lives! Dismissed!"

We saluted in unison. And as the Captain exited the courtyard, we fell into chaos.

**_Author's note: Since y/n doesn't know the gender of the person who saves her, I used "them" and "their" to signify him/her. _**


	4. Battle Of Trost (part 1)

**Chapter 4***

_Desperation._

It was present in the absence of birds and clouds in the clear grey sky, the absence of wind to blow over our shoulders, or the trees and the grass, and instead it was the shuffling of feet that shook the earth. The universe and everything around it was submerged with this desperation. It consumed those who were incapable, weak, but very much alive. Yet here I was staring at those helpless eyes which shone like the dead as I stood above them.

_How, after all that happened to wall Maria, would anyone dismiss the possibility at hand? Have they forgotten about it? Were they not looking hard enough? _

It was silly enough to predict the Colossal titan's reappearance. Silly enough, for such a strange and rare event, to expect it to happen again. No one knew where he came from, where he escaped. He wasn't even like the other titans. He was different, more gigantic, and, dare I say it, _naked_. Endless questions filled my head since that day, and even though the people of Maria have been relocated and the quality of life have been rising up again, I assume it was only normal to dread like this.

I caught sight of the commander not a few minutes later who assigned me to squad twenty-eight before he motioned me to Ymir, Krista, Franz, Samuel, and Hannah. I sighed a breath of relief as I saw my blonde friend, a top soldier here. Everyone stopped their discussion as soon as they caught me.

"The commander said I was in your team…"

"It's about damn time.", Ymir commented.

We surfaced the rooftop to get a better view to see the titans roam the streets of Rose. They were the bigger, creepier versions of cannibalistic men whose origins remained a mystery to us. They varied in size, some taller than chapels, others only slightly bigger than a door. My heart leaped so suddenly that it almost hurt as I recalled their faces, as clear as day.

"Whoever thought that we'd come to this?", I said. "It's too early! I'm not even sure if I- I…"

"Cheer up, y/n. Sure, we've only been fresh out of training, but this is exactly what everyone's prepared us for. There's no backing out now, and as soldiers, it is our job to face the reality of the situation and head on!" It was Franz, the quiet guy who sat at the back of the class with Hannah. It surprised me to hear him talk for a while, let alone, give words of wisdom.

"Franz is right. This is a battle to be won!", said Hannah.

After a beat, Samuel said, "So, we'll just go right ahead?"

"Sure,", said Ymir, then with a smirk, she added, "Care to lead the way?"

"Wait a minute, what about Krista? She's top ten!"

"I better take a look… " I said as I ventured towards the edge.

I held my breath. I didn't know whether it was the height of the house that led to this effect or the situation before us. But looking back to what Franz had said, maybe he was right. Something has to be done. I signed up for this, might as well get what I asked for. Who cares if I survive- if _we_ survive this battle? We are soldiers who dedicate our hearts for the sake of humankind. If anyone here dies today, at least, we die protecting.

"Y/n…", someone touched my shoulder.

I turned around but it was only Krista. Ymir, Hannah, and everyone else had gone, and we were the only people left on the roof. Everyone but us had left to fight the battle, and I already felt guilty for waiting.

"We better move."

Krista was the first to take off, and I followed behind her. I pressed a little too hard for the gas, and drifted higher than necessary. It hurt when I made my first landing, hitting a little too rough against my toes and slipped slightly downwards. Not two seconds later, concrete exploded behind me, and several clumps of rock flew over my head, sometimes hitting me on the back and legs. But I pursued and took off once more. This time, I landed on my knees. The impact had caused me to roll before I shortly took control and sped off towards another edge. My first titan popped out of nowhere towards the clearing. So I turned the other way and took off there instead. Although it was scary, the adrenaline kept pumping in. The good type. I have dodged four obstacles in a row, yet I felt lighter than air. Like I could do anything.

Until a barrier of flesh smacked me in the midst of my flight. Plunging into a brick wall, the gates of hell opened. A slight concussion took place as I began to lose breath. My arm dropped from the side of my head, and all I felt there was complete numbness. Then the titan grabbed me with both hands and started to squeeze. At first, my ribs pressed against my sensitive organs until no oxygen gave out. Then, tighter and tighter, an almost audible cracking come about as the bones began to slowly penetrate. Between my legs and hip, joints were compressed so tightly they could blend into one. How awkward they would look once it's all done, overlapped to their new strange design. My arms too weak to fight back had slowly turned to purple as the numbness spread over from my chest to my limbs and face. Everywhere I felt was pain like fire eating away my insides all at once. For the first time in a while, I wanted to die.

_Oh, please God, please let me die. Everything hurts. Oh, please, pleasee…_

_Swish!_

Blood rushed into my system again. In my peripheral vision, Ymir glided onto a roof nearby. The titan finally let go, and I slipped away. _Her first kill._ As I landed, the air crept in again but with a little restriction, followed by an unfamiliar pain I hadn't noticed before. I slowly regained consciousness.

"Quick," it was Samuel this time, right in front of me. He offered his back. "climb unto my back."

I crawled but stopped to wince. Samuel carried me instead. It was surprising how strong he was, considering I was only a few centimeters shorter than him. But he managed with ease, and once again, we were back to safety once more.

"Are you okay?", said Krista, hesitating to come forward. It seemed as if she wanted to embrace me.

"I think my rib's a bit broken…"

"Oh, we can fix that in no time. I'm so happy you're alive."

She cried, and I swore a patch of sunlight dawned upon her shining like an angel sent from heaven. I noticed Hannah from a distance by the roof ridge. She scanned the whole of Rose with her head turning left to right with an utmost attention. Not once had her mouth moved, and not once had she turned her head towards us.

"Franz is still somewhere. We haven't heard from him since.", began Samuel.

"He could be in trouble.", said Ymir. "Five minutes in, y/n was crushed to death by a titan. _Who knows?_ And if it wasn't for my sweet_ sweet _Krista, our little sunshine would be dead by now!" She had gone a little flirtatious once she said the word 'sweet'. Even going so far to pull her closer.

"Th-This is why we have to keep searching. We can still save him like we did for y/n!" said Krista.

We heard an ear-splitting scream, or maybe two screams. It sounded to me like a combination of two different voices. So we climbed up the ridge, and our eyes bulged in unison. I could no longer move at the scene of the horror before me.

_Franz?_

**_Author's note: everything's practically made-up at this point. Enjoy! :D_**


	5. Battle Of Trost (part 2)

**Chapter 5**

Large build, shaved black hair and slightly tanned skin. It was Franz, alright. He wore the standard uniform with a dark green shirt underneath. Half of his upper body dangled out of a titan's clenched teeth. Its jaw opened, and blood burst out from him with little clumps of red. Time had stopped around us. All we could see and hear now was Franz. Our bodies dismantled the way he did but spiritually, carefully divided through the abdomen with our legs crunched apart.

"Franz!", Hannah cried again. But before getting ready to take off, Ymir pulled her back. Her body froze but shuddered almost convulsively. Hannah turned around. We were left in shock. Colour had escaped her completely and all that was left were paleness of pure and utter horror. All of what we knew of her, her cheerful, contagious positive energy did not radiate like it once had but confused us, drained us with all her delusions and false hopes that would soon bring her to her demise. It was there when we knew that the old Hannah we all knew and loved had died along with Franz, never to be seen again. Hannah smiled a fake and forceful smile before she addressed us, "We have to go. Franz needs our help!"

No one moved.

"Hey, why isn't anyone moving?", she tugged Ymir's arm, "Ymir?", then turned to us, "Krista? Y/n?" She reached out to Samuel before he yanked his arm away.

"Franz is dead, Hannah. We're too late.", said Samuel.

"Samuel, what are you talking about? Of course, we're not too late. We can still save him, there's still time. If we keep waiting like this, then we'll lose him forever. Whatever happens to teamwork?"

"Oh, will anyone save poor Hannah who's been locked away in a dream?" said Ymir, " My, what a shame. No wonder you're so god-damn happy all the time."

Krista said, "Ymir-"

"What's wrong, Hannah? Is _this_ too much for you? Do you wanna cry and fly to _Dreamland'_, instead? Wouldn't that be so much better?"

"Ymir."

"You sicken me. You and that fake positivity of yours. Why won't you wake up? When will you realize that Franz is gone? Will you waste your life away living some stupid lie? Or will you move on, and live a life of your own? You don't need him, Hannah! You're not stupid!"

"That's enough!", Krista headbutted her.

Hannah took one look at Ymir, shook her head apologetically, "I'm sorry." And just like that, she took off.

Before anyone had the words to say, Samuel cried, "Hannah!". Then he forged forwards until a titan popped out of nowhere and grabbed him. I shut my eyes. It would hurt me twice as much seeing the pain he was in, but it wasn't enough. As long as I could still hear him, he would take me back once more in those monstrous hands. Then they squeezed, and I started to scream as well.

Ymir carried me. Krista followed. We flew and they watched on top of another roof as the titan swallowed him whole. Everything became eerily silent to me like the sound of midnight. As my chest rose and fell tremendously, I heard a voice. It was a raspy one, and loud. For once, I couldn't recognize that voice, but the way my throat hurt soon after left me utterly confused, and almost concerned. It was nothing I have ever heard before in my entire life, yet it felt so familiar. My heart followed along to fill in the silence. My chest rose again higher than usual, still, it yearned for more.

_Breathe in, breathe out… Breathe in, breathe out… Breathe in-_

Krista put her arms around me and asked if I was alright. I tried to answer her, but the words got tangled in my lips and I couldn't speak properly. She laid me down careful not to apply pressure on my ribs. I thanked her. Still, there were no birds or clouds in the sky, yet it was only turning greyer and greyer. My head hurt, my chest, and my limbs did too so I went to sleep.

"Hey, Krista, is that…" Ymir's voice trailed off. From here on, I fell into complete oblivion.

...

"_I am…" _

_..._

_It was the Year 847. _

_My father turned around. I remembered his rugged face, his quickly darkening skin that might soon lead to cancer, and the amount of sweat he lost which plastered his face like a layer of skin. He advanced, bent forwards and, as soon as he peeked into my basket, hit me in the head. "Stop dilly-dallying! She expects us by sunset!"_

"_Sorry…"_

_My mother, however, remained at the shelter for refugees for the survivors of Maria. Ever since my brother's death, she had been suffering from heart problems. Last week, she collapsed and had to be taken to a hospital nearby. So, my father and I did most of the work farming, taking good care of her, and feeding. No matter what we do, her mind wandered to two years ago._

_He clicked his tongue. Carrying his basket, what a plentiful share of corn!, I watched him disappear into a forest of maize with his back hunched slightly. Then I resumed. It had gotten cooler, yet the morning heat still left a mark against my skin. I wiped the sweat off my brow before I twisted and pulled the corn ear firmly, then threw it into my collection._

_I had finished while the time was still early. Then I met father near the farmhouse. He took off his hat and put it on me. I smiled. Times like this would take me back to pleasant memories. We climbed towards the graveyard at the usual time where we said our prayers to my little brother, and father would lay a flower he plucked on top of his grave. Bouquets were expensive back then, and hard to find in the city. So, it wasn't worth the effort. _

_Looking around, the graveyard never felt so alone. Other families would often visit here too. It became a tradition. At the anniversary of the fall, we would gather to commemorate and spend time with the dead. Sometimes, people would camp or sleep here, others would feast or mourn. Only visitors from Maria, of course, this graveyard was built especially for the millions who had died then._

_We bowed our heads before father said, "The Survey Corps arrived again this early morning."_

_I didn't know what to make of this comment for I never had much interest in them._

"_If he were still alive," father continued, "how happy he would be to see them again."_

_A memory flashed before my eyes. Something new dawned at me, "He loved the Survey Corps, didn't he?"_

"_More than anything…"_

_..._

"_I am… I am…"_

_..._


	6. Battle Cry

**Chapter 6**

"I'm strong, stronger than all of you. Extremely strong…" a voice in the back of my head whispered. I tried to open my eyes but the darkness held me tight. Every breath was heavy. Even the quick shorter ones weren't enough. My body felt out of my control, and at this point, I was in a tight rope between life and death. Once you surrender, even for a little bit, to the pain and suffering, there's no going back. "And if I can't fight, I can't win…"

I made a quick turn, a sudden leap towards the other side of the rope, and my eyes finally opened. Until now, I didn't know where the voice came from but it stayed. Death gave in before I thanked it for saving me. The sky was brighter than day. I closed my eyes once more, and before the void could catch me again, I gave my battle cry, "Aghhhh!"

_I am (Y/N) (L/N) from Shiganshina District, Wall Maria. Five years ago, I lost my brother when the Colossal and the Armour Titan attacked. Since then, my only wish is to enroll for the Survey Corps and to save humanity from the brink of extinction!_

Like a cue, more battle cries followed and the shuffling of feet deafened me. My fist dug into the ground in triumph and I felt my body lifting. I gave another cry.

"Y/n!", it was Krista who ran up to me accompanied by Ymir.

"But your rib-"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I want to fight."

She looked at Ymir who slowly nodded in approval, "Well, she _is_ as capable as you and me, isn't she?"

Krista opened her mouth to speak, stopped, quickly got the reference, and blushed furiously. She bobbed her head almost to herself, Ymir gave me a friendly pat on the back, and they helped me up.

"Follow Mikasa!", one of our cadets said as we flew once again in mid air. Krista and Ymir kept close, the first girl watching my every movement while the second girl looking out for potential threats. We had only passed two roofs, yet I was already feeling breathless.

"Are you okay?,", Krista asked.

So, we stopped and I fell to my knees. While Jean, Sasha, Armin and Mikasa whisked away before us, I felt my pulse rising. Whether it was the outcome of my physical exertion or the embarrassment for lagging my two friends behind, it was no use. Healthy ribs or not, it was too much for me to face the adversity. Every breath I take felt like splinters spiking into my lungs, and every move, my body was tender. I was limited, and I felt vulnerable.

_How have I not expected this?_

Then I thought back to the soldiers with their limbs chopped off, and their bones and guts ruptured. Despite all that, they continued to fight. And that's what make soldiers soldiers, right? If I wasn't prepared for this, then I was certainly not fit for anything! So much for three years of training, it would be ridiculous to go back and resign. Maybe, I should have proved Shadis a long time ago that I wasn't qualified, and then drop out. What's the use?

I remembered my brother's face. Oh, how he loved the Survey Corps. He used to watch them by the window because mother wouldn't let him go out. It's not good for you, she would say, yet he disobeyed her again and again. Nothing would stop him then. The boy, with his brilliant academic prowess and physical strength, had a bright future ahead of him. There was no way my mother would let him take such sacrifice, but my father didn't mind. I guess, in his honour after he died, I took his place. Maybe because I missed him so much, or thought I was finally doing something good to the family. I may not have his brains or brawns, so I might make myself look useful to the army. And then, here I was, hanging out on the roof with friends and watching my comrades die one by one.

Someone screamed. I snapped back to reality. The ground rattled, and my friends shoved me back. Standing up, I could see it finally, and my breath stopped.

There were two titans, and the other one threw its fist through its face, head flying. Then he roared as the titan collapsed. The earth shook once more. Then another one reappeared. From the looks of it, it was a 15-meter titan heading for the successor. There was smoke coming out from the corpse of the first one like skin and muscle receding allowing his skeletons to burn in the sun. I stepped back a little as the fighter rose both of his hands with his arms facing the enemy in defense, a human-like combat defense mode. For some reason, I knew I saw it somewhere but I don't know where. The enemy roared and his fist flew across its face decapitating the head as well. It hit one of the buildings.

"We should move back." said Ymir.

We turned to her, but I staggered back. Her eyes wide with pupils shrunk back like I've never seen in her before. I could hear her breathe- no, hyperventilate as she tried to discern the horror before her. She paused, her mouth agaped but no words came out, then she outstretched her hand towards us. She had never been like this before, not when Hannah left, when I was injured, or when Samuel died- no. She had always been the calm and collected Ymir until now. We frowned.

I laid my hand on her arm. She was shivering. "Ymir?"

"We must get back," she said breathily. "It's not safe here."

"Right,"

So we moved back, retreated towards the end of the roof and waited for Ymir to gather herself. I lay back and concentrated on my chest rising up and down as I breathe. It still felt a little constricted and painful, but not as much as before. I smiled.

_I think I can do this. Just a little more..._

Then a minute passed, and it was getting quiet for a while.

"What's happening now?" Ymir asked.

"It seems like everyone's heading to the HQ. It's bombarded with titans.", Krista answered.

"We- We should help-" I said.

"No, y/n, you stay."

"But-"

"Trust me, y/n. It's best for you. Ymir, you stay too. Get to someplace safe and watch over her for me. You aren't ready yet as well."

Ymir opened her mouth to protest but closed. She thought, "She was right. None of us are ready yet. Y/n's ribs are still broken, and I have to take care of her. Plus, there's so much to figure out, to really grasp the situation before me lest I lose control. Everything is so just confusing. I need time, so much time to figure things out."

She carried me once again, "Take care, Krista," then to me, "Stay still." before we fled the scene. From behind, I saw my friend take off for the last time. And I haven't seen her for the rest of the day.


	7. What Makes A Good Soldier

**Chapter 7**

I may not remember many details of what happened afterwards, because I fell asleep while I was taken to the medical care. When I awoke, Ymir left without me. From what I was told, she went back to battle. Probably, she was alright or, like me, felt a little guilty. I guess I couldn't blame her. The thought of standing by and doing nothing as your comrades die was a little too overwhelming for a girl just turning fifteen. Nevertheless, this gave me time to form my thoughts, and to lay on my back and torment myself with the recurring criticisms of not being good enough. What would my comrades think of me now? I'll be better off in the Garrison, I'd never last a day in the Corps. I felt my eyes water. A nurse dabbed a towel on my cheeks.

"Are you alright, dear? Would you want some water?"

"No thanks.", I sniffed, "By the way, when will I get back?"

"That depends on the doctor. He will be here any minute. You should rest for now."

"But I don't want to sleep, I want to get back. Please, you have to let me get back. I can fight, I'm strong enough."

She clicked her tongue, "Not until you see the doctor."

It was after the doctor's prescription that I was finally able to get on my feet again. I wasn't allowed to fight yet, so I strolled around the perimeter at my own will. The centre was cramped with injured soldiers lucky enough to be brought here. There were those who had missing limbs, almost missing faces, huge scars, burns, even some with large bitten marks the size of a palm. The soldiers were faced with an utmost despair, and in their suffering, it affected me too. So, instead, I searched for familiar faces. It didn't take me long to find Hannah lying on bed. Her whole body was pale and frozen like a corpse, but she was still breathing. Someone told me she fainted and found her body next to Franz. It was confirmed that he was dead. Somehow, it still surprised me even though I still remembered it. It only felt like moments ago when I watched his upper body convulsed as the Titan clenched its teeth through him. I missed the old guy. Nice, positive, brave, a great role model, he was what every soldier ought to be yet he was gone like he was never important in the first place, like the world had simply decided he was no use to them.

_Why won't they take me instead?_

Suddenly, I heard an announcement from outside. It was the voice of Captain Pixis.

"How long have I slept?", I asked the nurse. It wasn't usual that announcements would take place in the midst of battle. Something must've happened.

"Five hours, dear."

I gasped. Everyone fell silent, Pixis continued, "I will now explain our strategy to recapture Trost district. The goal of this operation will be to plug the hole in the broken gate. We have a way to seal the hole, but first I want to introduce you to Eren Jaeger, of the Training Corps. We've been conducting top secret experiments on titan transformation, and this soldier is our first success! He is able to purify the body of a titan and control it at will. He will turn into a titan, pick up at boulder near the gate, carry it over, and use it to block the hole. Soldiers, your task is to protect him from the other titans while he's carrying the rock."

The announcement left me utterly confused.

_Titan transformation? Eren Jaeger? Plug a hole? How much was I missing? _

My head began to ache. I pinched myself, but there was no doubt about it. This could only mean one thing: _Eren Jaeger can turn into a titan. _But humans can't turn into titans, it's not physically possible. It wasn't in any of our textbooks, not human biology, or _titan _biology for that matter. While I don't know what this would mean for the rest of the titans, where did he get this superpower from? Perhaps, shapeshift? Or maybe, it wasn't he who turned a titan, but could mind-control other titans to work for him? No- I didn't know. It was also funny how we have been trained to defeat the titans only to defend them by fighting off other titans. Then I pictured that one titan that attacked his own kind, let his head fly backwards.

_If that was Eren Jaeger…_

I shifted my attention to something else. It would do no good thinking about it, but give me a headache. I turned to the doctor, asked him if I was permitted to leave, "Just don't show your face here ever again."

I was back again into the wild. I took a breath of fresh air, but stopped before a sting prevented me. An officer escorted me, informed me of my mission for today, and I flew back with my maneuvering gear on the top of the roof again. A bright flash of light exploded right in front of me and a titan appeared, the same titan who fought his own kind, the same titan who was, for the first time, our ally. He screamed and then punched a roof where Mikasa was. A red flare fired. I wasn't surprised.

An officer went up to me, "Mission failed, l/n."

"What's going to happen now?"

"We wait for orders from Pixis. If not, we continue to gate defense. I'm not certain we're going to get anything from Eren."

"What were they thinking?"

"Pardon?"

"To think a Titan will save humanity."

"That titan is Eren, l/n. It's not right to be suspicious of your own comrade."

"But titans are not humans, officer. You saw him hurt Mikasa, do you think the real Eren would've done this? They're nothing but vile creatures, it's in their blood."

The officer fell silent, shaking his head profusely. On the other hand, I was held in high spirits confident with what I said was the truth. Ex-human or not, there was no way I was going to trust a titan to do the work of humans. Our kind who was more capable and good-hearted, superior even, should be entrusted with such a serious mission. Titans have been known to encroach walls and kill people. At least, we have moralities.

"I'll take a better look."

"Be careful, l/n."

Before I was able to clearly see ahead of me, I was able to make out the blonde bowl haircut of Armin's. He had his sword stuck to the nape of Eren's titan neck. He just sat there. I didn't know why he wouldn't give up, I thought he was a smart guy. A few moments later, Eren roared again, stood up, picked up the boulder right in front of him and heaved. I was taken back. First, at how Armin had once again succeeded and that I underestimated him. And second, by the size of the boulder compared to the titan Eren which was probably thirty times his weight, yet he carried it with so much determination, I couldn't help but watched. I felt the adrenaline rushing through my veins dividing into a mix of excitement and fear. More than half of me expected that he would throw the boulder unto us, the other half hoping he would accomplish and prove himself an ally. I held my weapon tight ready to face an unexpected attack.

_Can it be? Can we finally trust him? _

I have stood there for so long that I haven't noticed the titans approaching Eren. I wondered to myself if they haven't noticed us, but it finally dawned on me. Seeing that Eren was now a potential enemy, this attracted the titans. They were going to attack him, and we were supposed to stop them from getting any closer. A 5-meter titan clutched into Eren's leg and nibbled him making him screamed. So, I lunged a bit too forward, crashed myself at the nape and slipped. If it wasn't for the location of my grappling hooks, the titan would've grabbed it. But I pulled the trigger again, whisked myself up towards the nape and sliced it off diagonally. I seemed to have left it a little too deep for I caught something white inside. Luckily, the titan fell off and I found myself hanging back to safety. The pain in my lungs grew as I heaved, but I clutched it beaming with pride.

_My first kill!_

Not a second later, I saw another one heading straight for me. 10-meter, this time. I dodged his clammy hands, blinded him in one eye, and took this advantage to successfully sliced the neck once again. More and more, I was feeling lighter than air. My reflexes seemed to know what they were doing, and my wits helped save me in many close-to-death experiences. There was not a second when I was more than an inch away to slaughter. As I had just completed my fifth, I rested on the roof looking down at my accomplishments. I felt important once again.

But something caught my attention, something that did not fit the picture. Three blocks away from me I saw two comrades talking on top of a roof. While everyone was fighting, it so happened that the two of them weren't doing what they were supposed to. So, I flew to them, and being a good example, felt inclined to remind them of their duties, that is until I decided to eavesdrop on them for no reason at all.

I stood on the little roof of the first floor of the house and peeked. I could only see their backs, but I knew immediately by the inseparable pair and their distinguished figures that they were no other than Bertholdt and Reiner. Bertholdt being the incredibly tall and lean one with a hooked nose and black hair, and Reiner being the shorter muscular guy with blonde hair slightly parted in the middle.

"Plugging a hole like that? What a reckless plan. Eren might get eaten.", a timid voice. It was no doubt Bertholdt.

"If that happens, they'll stay ignorant," a raspy voice, that of his companion, Reiner.

"Yeah, if it comes down to it, I'll just have to do something with my titan."

My heart stopped.

"But if the plan succeeds, they'll manage to close the hole we worked so hard to make."

"Who cares? We finally found the key we've spent the last five years searching for."

And then I slipped.


End file.
